24 Jan The Bow: A Symbol of Love and Strength
When I was pregnant with Madelyn, one of the things I most looked forward to was, of course, meeting my baby- my first daughter. I couldn’t wait to see what she looked like; would she look like her brothers? Or maybe she’d have dark hair like me. I couldn’t wait to hold her and study her tiny little features. I knew each day she would change and I could start to see her personality come through.
I thought about sitting in her nursery and how her brothers would be loud and silly and I’d have to fuss at them to be quiet so she could nap. But she was the third child, so she would adjust to all the noise, I told myself. I couldn’t wait for the boys to meet their sister and our family to be complete. I loved having my two boys, and all of the blue, the cars, the trucks, the balls, but I was really looking forward to making Madelyn’s room something completely different. It was going to be girly and pink. Pink with some navy, and gold. I sorted through some fabrics and selected some favorites to use for a crib skirt, curtains, and pillows I was having made, along with some cute stuffed animals to be hung around her room. I couldn’t wait to have it all ready to bring her home to when she was born in February.
But instead, Madelyn was born on January 27, about three weeks before her due date. She was taken to the NICU to assist with her breathing, where she spent 8 days fighting to get better after developing an infection. On our third day in the NICU, the kind woman who was working on sewing everything for Madelyn’s nursery, sent me some photos. She was almost done and was working hard to complete everything so it would be ready for Madelyn when she was healthy enough to come home. I loved seeing how everything was turning out, and pictured walking in with Madelyn when we brought her home. The sweet bow pattern on the pillow made me smile, along with the bow trim on the crib skirt. She even sewed on a couple of bows to the ears of a stuffed animal deer I’d given her. It was adorable. After that, we started pinning little bows on Madelyn’s hat in the NICU. It reminded me of bringing her home.
Madelyn passed away on February 4, 2015, and never got to come home. That sentence is not any easier to type 10 years later. Sometimes I would go and sit in her nursery and just think of holding her and how much I missed her. Even though it was really painful, it made me feel close to her in her room. Until we moved, two years later, I never put anything away. I wanted to go in and see everything as a way to remember her. I would look around her room and think of all the memories we would have there- reading and singing, and probably laughing at her crazy older brothers. The quietness hurt my heart, but in some ways, helped with my healing.
A few months after she passed, I was walking through a store and a tiny bow necklace caught my eye. I bought it immediately because it reminded me of Madelyn, and it was something I could wear every day to feel like she was close to me. I knew the bow had significance, but now it was even more special.
In 2016, just over a year after Madelyn passed away, we decided we wanted to do something to help families facing something similar, and decided to create what is now, Madelyn’s Fund. We had an idea to commemorate the official launch by having an art piece made. By what I think was divine intervention, we were introduced to a local artist, Stephen Wilson, who worked with fabrics to create art. He used leftover fabric we had from Madelyn’s nursery to create a beautiful and meaningful art piece that now hangs at Novant Health Hemby Children’s Hospital in the NICU waiting room lobby. The art piece has a beautiful pink butterfly to symbolize Madelyn’s life, along with 8 bows, for her 8 short days with us. Stephen even let our family be part of the process. The same bow fabric that was in her nursery is in the background. That same bow is also the one you see in our Madelyn’s Fund logo.
Bows can be “girly” or feminine, but as I have looked into it more, the knot in the bow can also symbolize love, strength, and security. That’s what I think of when I think of Madelyn and how her life lives on through Madelyn’s Fund- bringing love and hope to others so they can have the strength to make it through their own NICU journey.
About Madelyn’s Fund: Madelyn’s Fund, established in 2016, is a Charlotte, NC-based 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to providing financial support to infant and pediatric patients in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and to families who experience the trauma of infant loss. The organization helps NICU families cover unexpected costs, including funeral expenses, offering critical assistance during times of need.
To learn more about Madelyn’s Fund visit www.madelynsfund.org. For more information or press inquiries, please contact Zoë Maurer, Marketing Chair, at [email protected].
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.